you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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