my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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