She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
