They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
