great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
