"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
