You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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