she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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