im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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