I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize