Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
