I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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