Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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