Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
