what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
