She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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