i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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