we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
