my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woke up backwards on a recliner
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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