I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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