She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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