Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize