I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
