i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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