whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
40s are totally the cure
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
