his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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