At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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