He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
