You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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