I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
