Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.