Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.

(662): View more from Mississippi

He was trying to put me in handcuffs.

(1-662): View more from Mississippi

You have my attention.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.

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(313): View more from Michigan

you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth

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(210): View more from Texas

Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall

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(515): View more from Iowa

I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...

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(604): View more from British Columbia

He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.

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(419): View more from Ohio

He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!

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