The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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