You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize