Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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