i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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