Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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