Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
