Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
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