Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
