His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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