mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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