So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
