one might say we're banned from that church
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
