Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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