Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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