Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
