Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
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No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
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I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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