It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
