Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize