i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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