Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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