Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Only a mothe r could love this liver
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
