He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
