Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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