this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
